We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
