maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
