Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
