Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
someone owes me an orgasm
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
