The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
