dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just want nice things and good sex
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
