We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
