There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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