She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
