At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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