Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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