i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
