Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize