Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
