so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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