is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
