Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
