Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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