Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
