Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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