the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
