I hope mine doesn't look like that
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
