I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
