Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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