Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
