Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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