My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
