Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
