I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
