He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
