haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
