we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
