There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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