I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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