I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
