I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
