Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
