Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
