my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Too much gin, very little bucket
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You're like the curious george of whores
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
