OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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