So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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