Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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