her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize