If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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