so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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