I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
tell me about the eggs
Randomize