totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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