is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
