girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
