Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize