it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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