But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
