just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It's never too late to be topless.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
