oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
