Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
