i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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