the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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