Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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