I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
