after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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