Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
