Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
