im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
