Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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