only if we run a train.
done.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
