On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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